Marriage can be a beautiful thing and certainly something to be enjoyed. But no relationship is perfect and sometimes your spouse will say something that gets on your nerves.
For the husbands, below is a list of 10 things better left unsaid to your wife.
1 My mom does things this way
Your mom may be a wonderful woman, but you are not married to her. Please, respect your wife for the woman she is and the differences that make her special.
2 You’re acting like your mother
In truth, she may at times act like her mother, but she doesn’t want to be told that in a negative, condescending way, which not only is degrading to her, but also her own mother. Not to mention these are fighting words. You’ve been warned!
3 It’s your job to handle the kids
When you say statements like this, you imply that she doesn’t work at all. Children need parents who work together as a team giving them a stable home and loving environment.
4 It’s my money
You are married. You share a home and a life. If you choose to keep accounts separate, make sure to share in the responsibilities. You are a team. You both share the burden and the benefits.
5 Why can’t you be more like…?
Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare her to an ex-wife/girlfriend, movie star, or your best friend’s wife. She is not them.
6 Why are you doing it that way?
When we are working on something we care about or pour a lot of time into, we look to our husband for encouragement and validation. What you don’t want to do is start critiquing how your wife is going about her project. Avoid making statements that call into question her ability; this will significantly discourage her. It’s ok to compliment and then ask “have you ever thought of trying this?” This approach encourages her and leads to bettering each other, rather than critiquing.
7 Maybe you should go on a diet
If your wife has gained a little weight or a lot of weight, she more than likely already knows that she has and is trying to deal with it in her own way.
8 What do you do all day?
What she does all day is take care of the children, the house and many other responsibilities. Don’t think for a second that whether she works outside of the home or in the home that her job ever ends. Please, appreciate all the little things she does to keep your home in working order.
9 I am trying to watch the game
This is the loudest way you can tell your wife she is less important than the TV. Try kindly asking her if she could wait until a commercial to talk, and if not, pause the game or turn it off. In the end, it’s just a game.
10 Can’t you keep the kids under control?
First, they are not just her kids. They are yours too. This comment puts all the responsibility of raising the kids on your wife. Children are not an inconvenience, they are a blessing from God.
11. “I’m only with you for the kids.”
Somehow you must have forgotten that the kids you share are there partly because of her. Here’s a question: Since you don’t care about her, what messages should your children get about marriage from this? Not only do you hurt your wife with that belief, your children could suffer in the long run, as well.
12. “Get out!”
This is only OK if there’s some crisis situation (i.e. house on fire, a tree fell on the house, car stalls on the railroad tracks, etc.). Outside of that, you’re being a bully. And she didn’t sign up to be bullied. Besides, whatever the issue(s) may be at that time won’t get resolved because you kicked her out of you all’s home. Instead call for a “time out” so you both can cool off. And if either of you wants to go outside or leave, then you’re both free to do that.
13. “Your family is crazy.”
I don’t even care if she calls them crazy. Be careful talking negatively about the people that either raised her (adults in her childhood) or she grew up with (i.e. siblings, cousins, etc.). It’s like an unwritten rule that it’s always ok for her to say it. But there may be times when you say it that just might spark an argument. Therefore, never agree nor do you ever say it, period.
14. “I’m not perfect.”
Newsflash: No one is! Let’s not insult her intelligence. Furthermore, you are also implying that whatever you may have done to upset her is because her standards are too high (perfection). Instead of using this phrase, let’s try something like, “I’m sorry for ______.” Take ownership for what you did and see how it can diffuse the situation.
